Birdy (crying): I feel really insecure. 

Me: About what? 

Birdy: Nothing in par-tic-u-lar. 

Me: Is something really wrong? Do you need bail money or something? 

Birdy: Noooooo. 

Me: (to myself) Phew. 

Birdy: Everything, everyone, is uncertain. There is so much uncertainty in my life right now. 

Me: Welcome to your twenties.

Birdy:  The thought of my school loans is giving me heartburn.

Me: Been there.

Birdy: I am so afraid I will end up alone.  With cats.

Me:   Feared (and still fearing) that. Plus, you can't have that fear.  I've already used our family's quota.   

Birdy: What if, you know, this all doesn't work out?

Me:  It will work out.  Enjoy yourself.  Don't be recklessly irresponsible.  You're already successful.

Birdy: But....

Me: Birdy, no buts.  You're doing fine. The way my life is going right now, I'll probably end up as your administrative assistant one day.

Birdy:  That would be great!

Me: Are you kidding me?  I do not want to be your assistant.

Birdy:  Why not?

Me:  Ok, this conversation is over.