Stalking Bliss
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
The Best Email I Have Ever Received (and I have received thousands of emails)
Subject: Nonnie
From: Andy Gambardella
Sent: Tue 6/17/08 3:08 PM
To: Colette Hayes
Quote of the Week!
If you find it in your heart to care for
Somebody else, you will have succeeded
Maya Angelo,
This is from my 70 year old Italian grandmother. Besides just completely loving this quote that she's found, I especially like that all emails from Nonie have "Nonnie" as the subject. The "Quote of the Week!" heading is also fantastic. And lastly, the fact that Maya Angelou has morphed into the Italian Maya Angelo (I'm pretty sure that Nonie knows who Maya Angelou is and has simply mis-typed the poet's last name, but I can't be sure) and that the email ends with a comma -- implying there's more to this -- not a period, which normally tells us the thought is finished... the whole thing just made my day. I forwarded this gem to my mother who within minutes typed back "hahah...where'd she get that???" to which I should have replied, "I suppose the same place all of us get this stuff, Mom." ¶ 6:56 PM 0 Comments
From: Andy Gambardella
Sent: Tue 6/17/08 3:08 PM
To: Colette Hayes
Quote of the Week!
If you find it in your heart to care for
Somebody else, you will have succeeded
Maya Angelo,
This is from my 70 year old Italian grandmother. Besides just completely loving this quote that she's found, I especially like that all emails from Nonie have "Nonnie" as the subject. The "Quote of the Week!" heading is also fantastic. And lastly, the fact that Maya Angelou has morphed into the Italian Maya Angelo (I'm pretty sure that Nonie knows who Maya Angelou is and has simply mis-typed the poet's last name, but I can't be sure) and that the email ends with a comma -- implying there's more to this -- not a period, which normally tells us the thought is finished... the whole thing just made my day. I forwarded this gem to my mother who within minutes typed back "hahah...where'd she get that???" to which I should have replied, "I suppose the same place all of us get this stuff, Mom." ¶ 6:56 PM 0 Comments
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Your Mama
My gaggle of drunk friends was quacking things that made me raging pissed last night. I've become a bit crotchety in my late twenties. I can't take the bizarre bar scene like water off a duck's back anymore. So while my friends were swaying stupid in the street, I hopped into a cab lamenting that I'd spent 12 dollars on 4 cans of PBR, the contents of which were now swirling and angry in my stomach. What a horrible waste.
I didn't want to chat with the driver. Usually, it's the other way around. Tonight the cab driver had something to say to me, though:
¶ 1:50 PM 0 Comments
@ Mission and 26th
me: Stanyan and Parnassus, please.
driver: Ok.
@Mission and 24th
driver: Did you have a fun time tonight?
me: Yeah. Sure.
@ Missions and 20th
driver: It's busy tonight. Lots of work.
me: Good.
@ Mission and 18th
driver: You look like an Indian actress.
me: (thinking) Buddy, I'll give you a good tip, I promise. Just get me home.
@ Mission and 16th
driver: Do not waste your beauty.
me (thinking): wtf? home. home. i just want to go home.
@ Market and 17th, driver: You're worried about money, houses, men, things, all these things.
me (thinking): what the.....
me (thinking): what the.....
@ 17th and Castro
driver: Don't worry about these things. Don't worry.
me (wondering): I am so tired of people telling me that, and now this cab driver?!
@ 17th and Masonic
driver: There are plenty of these things.
me: (thinking.)
@ 17th and Stanyan
driver: Just worry about your Mama. There is only one Mama.
me (thinking. thinking. thinking.....)
@ Stanyan and Parnassus
driver (as I'm digging for money and stepping out of this weird cab all at the same time): Take care of yourself so that you can take care of her. She is your Mama.
me(thrusting money this guy's way): Thanks. I will. I know.
And so this shaman showed me to my door. I had some frozen pizzas in the house, which I ate while trying to figure out if this cab scene was something worth saving. Maybe. Then I stayed up until three, finally and calmly ending the "how messy can you let your room get before you admit that you're depressed" game by separating my dirty laundry from half opened telephone and car insurance bills.
The evening was not a waste after all.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
I'm sitting high like a queen on a pile of dirty laundry on my bed. A goblet, perched on my bed frame, holds only my backwash of a cheap bottle of red wine. My library of bills, failed short stories, a mess of novels, all of which I once claimed saved my life. Oh my jewels -- my costume jewels in the perfect jewelry box my brother gave me for Christmas!! This one room -- no windows -- my castle. I imagine a crown. A crown of thorns. And the wrinkles on my forehead bleed for every woman who knows this lonely room.
I think it stinks in here.
¶ 11:43 PM 0 Comments
To that, I say:
Fine.
and
Good.
