I can't believe it has taken me 27+ years to figure this one out. I know the real reason why some women refuse to shave their legs. It's no feminist act of rebellion.  It's not "hippy," nor any indication of some earth-mother goddess wannabe. It's not dirty. Some women don't shave their legs because they don't shave their legs. End stop. They're busy and, frankly, that tiny window of ten or twenty free minutes a day is better spent reading the newspaper.

Birdy (crying): I feel really insecure. 

Me: About what? 

Birdy: Nothing in par-tic-u-lar. 

Me: Is something really wrong? Do you need bail money or something? 

Birdy: Noooooo. 

Me: (to myself) Phew. 

Birdy: Everything, everyone, is uncertain. There is so much uncertainty in my life right now. 

Me: Welcome to your twenties.

Birdy:  The thought of my school loans is giving me heartburn.

Me: Been there.

Birdy: I am so afraid I will end up alone.  With cats.

Me:   Feared (and still fearing) that. Plus, you can't have that fear.  I've already used our family's quota.   

Birdy: What if, you know, this all doesn't work out?

Me:  It will work out.  Enjoy yourself.  Don't be recklessly irresponsible.  You're already successful.

Birdy: But....

Me: Birdy, no buts.  You're doing fine. The way my life is going right now, I'll probably end up as your administrative assistant one day.

Birdy:  That would be great!

Me: Are you kidding me?  I do not want to be your assistant.

Birdy:  Why not?

Me:  Ok, this conversation is over.